Are you overthinking things??

93700-Over-Thinking-Kills-Happiness

It  happens all the time.  Someone you know is going through something really tough.  You want to reach out to them, but you just don’t know what to say.  The more you think about it, the more your mind begins to overthink it.

We all have thoughts that inhibit our actions.  We question ourselves, should I call or email, or maybe text my friend in need? What if I say the wrong thing and make it worse? What if they don’t want to talk to me?  What if I make it worse?  Those negative self defeating thoughts keep coming and coming.  Sadly,  we end up not reaching out and continue to overthink the situations.

Our brains directly control our behavior. When the brain is ‘regulated’ properly it works better. It gives us clarity.  How do we get that clarity?

Biofeedback and Neurofeedback provide clearer thinking.

Biofeedback and  Neurofeedback are a great ways to help open our brain’s neural pathways that create self regulation to improve, and enhance our neurological and physiological responses. It can help us think more clearly and teach us how to respond to everyday stress in a healthy way. Biofeedback and neurofeedback provide the kind of evidence-based therapy that can benefit everyone. It enables an individual to learn how to change physiological activity for the purposes of improving health and performance in our daily lives.

Clear thinking allows action:

  • Don’t assume others have called. Often, even good friends don’t call because they know what to say.
  • Don’t text or email. A phone call can make someone feel loved at a time they need it most. They will remember it.
  • Don’t worry about saying the wrong thing. The act of you picking up the phone and giving your voice to their pain trumps any of the actual words you’d use in the conversation.
  • If they don’t want to talk, they won’t answer. Leave a message. It means just as much.
  • If you’re worried about it being uncomfortable, you’re focusing too much on yourself. The phone call isn’t about you. It’s about them, and there is nothing uncomfortable about taking a few minutes to let another human know they matter.

Don’t overthink things.  Just call.

Handle your stress – Don’t let it handle you

Stress is part of our everyday life, and some days we handle it better than others. Some days we get stressed about being stressed, starting a vicious cycle that wreaks havoc on our nerves, our work , and personal lives. However, you shouldn’t feel so guilty, as some of these are reactions are completely justified – in fact, it’d be strange if somethings didn’t cause you stress.

New research published in “The Journal of Neuroscience” shows that a stress you can control is very different from a stress that you can’t control. An example of an uncontrollable stress could be a traumatic event, such as the divorce or death of a family member. A controllable stress could be training for and running a 10k race, or preparing for your dream vacation. Not all stress is bad.

Since we’ve already identified that stress is inevitable and unavoidable, we can then agree that it’s how you handle the stress that is most important. After exposure to a controllable stress there is increased activity in the frontal cortex and research suggest that exciting this area can create resilience to stress in general. So just as with anything in life, practice dealing with stress. Set goals for yourself that required a certain amount of controllable stress, be they fitness, professional, or social. The  small amounts of stress that you are able to handle and conquer will help train your mind and body to deal with those unavoidable uncontrollable stressors in life.

But how do you keep the frontal cortex activated when the uncontrollable stress comes into play? The easiest and simplest way to do that is through the use of biofeedback, and slowing your breath rate down to a more optimal functioning level. By changing your breath rate, you change your heart rate. If you can get those two to dance together in sync, moving at the same beat, then you have created physiological balance. Both the autonomic nervous system and the central nervous system will preform better and keep the frontal lobes in an active state.

There are breathing programs that you can purchase for home use such as MY Calm Beat or M Wave, which I have both used and recommend. There are other things that you can do to help keep your brain balanced, depending on the different variables.

Remember, not all stress is bad; it is how we handle it that counts. Handle your stress, don’t let it handle you.

TEENS AND THE IMPORTANCE OF SLEEP

Does your teenager want to sleep all day and stay up late at night?

The first sign that your child is becoming a teenager is when they start sleeping in until 11. Most teenagers get an average of 7.5 hours of sleep per night, when to perform at an optimal level they really need 9.25 hours. This results in teenagers not filling up their “sleep tank”, affecting their moods, ability to think, perform, and react appropriately.

Teens are learning a tremendous amount of information on a daily basis. The same part of their brain that works when learning continues when teens are at sleep, repeating and rehearsing, the brain consolidates and improves on what they just learned. The lessons are effortless. What determines how well a person will perform is a good nights sleep. Having a good nights sleep is what you need to be on top of your game. Some schools have even changed to a later start time, and have noticed that students were more alert, on task, on time and attendance was up.

It is important to make sure your growing teen is getting enough sleep. Here are some easy tips to get your teens to sleep at night.

-Breathing exercises and meditation.

-Limit Caffeine intake.

-Don’t let your teen go to bed hungry.

-Include daily “Winding-down” time.

-Make the bedroom an inviting, relaxing environment.

-Maintain a regular wake up time.

For more info, on teens and sleep please watch the video below.

www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/teenbrain/view/