Bulldogs Don’t Bully

Bullying goes on everyday in all walks of life. There are different forms of bullying, be they physical, verbal, or sexual. However, all of them are demeaning and hurtful to the person on the receiving end. It occurs at school, in the work place, in the home, and even at church. It is everywhere, and the worst part is that bullying is a vicious cycle, where the victims often become bullies themselves.

Bullying can be deadly. Thirteen years ago, April 20, 1999, the tragic school shooting at Columbine High School showed us just how deadly it can be.  The death of 12 students and 1 teacher evoked a lot of debate around gun control laws, the role of violent video games, and school security.  However, it also began to shed light on bullying as a root cause of tragedies such as this one, forcing people to address the problem that the two students/gunmen responsible had been outcasts and bullied to a point of mental distress. Bullying generally can start at school.  While it is hard to imagine how one could hope to control such a widespread problem, schools are beginning to do just that. A colleague and I recently had the opportunity to tour Dallas Academy and see first hand how a school is combating bullying in the hallways and classrooms.

Leigh Richardson, Henri Braun and Dallas Academy Headmaster Jim Richardson discuss the school’s bullying program.

Dallas Academy, who’s mascot is the bulldog, works with a unique group of students.  Their mission statement is to restore the promise of full academic enrichment to students with learning differences.  Learning differences often involve problems with reading and writing, and their curriculum involves two hours a day skill work on these problem subjects. And, the kids love it. We walked in and out of the classrooms as Headmaster Jim Richardson, asked the students if they were having fun, only to be answered by emphatic and sincere groupings of “yes” at every turn.  I kept waiting for that one “no” but it never came.  Jim has been there since 1983, and knows the school from the ground up. He has been involved in activity at every level. What he and his team have created there is pretty special.  As we toured the campus Henri, one of my colleagues noted how relaxed all of the students appeared.  The campus is very peaceful, with plenty of trees and natural light, and feels like a warm and nurturing place that fosters learning.

So, in this beautiful setting where everyone is having so much fun learning, why would Dallas Academy spend over a year training its teachers and administrators on an anti-bullying program?  It is an expensive and time consuming process. WHY?  It’s because those who work at the Dallas Academy appreciate the unique population of students that they have.  They understand the difficulties that these students have had in other environments, and want better for their kids.  It’s as simple as that.  They realize that even in an environment such as this, the potential for bullying still exists.  Despite all the successes and hard work, the faculty at Dallas Academy knows that the students are only human. With the help of their teachers and staff, these students who could have otherwise easily fallen into bullying have managed to rise above and make the Dallas Academy a haven and natural environment for learning and personal growth. The administrators walk their talk, and so do the students and their parents.

Please take the opportunity to learn more about their bullying program, and visit the campus on May 9th for a parent’s presentation on bullying.  For more information click here, http://www.dallas-academy.com/.

If you have a child with learning differences, or if you think that your child may be a victim of bullying, then take this opportunity to learn what you as a parent can do to help your child. You won’t be sorry if you go.  I was so inspired during my first vist, I can’t wait to go back.  The kind of example that the Dallas Academy is setting might even cause you to stop and examine your own daily practices, and ask yourself how you can better the environment in which you work and learn in.

This Guy Took Our Breath Away.

What can you do with a 49 cent jar of bubbles and a heart of gold?

Daniel Hamiel, implementing biofeedback techniques in schools all over Israel.
Touch 250,000 kids, teach them to breath properly and develop necessary coping skills to deal with everyday life situations and trauma.

Impossible?  Not at all.

I met Daniel Hamiel at a conference this year and heard his unbelievable story that was both touching, and inspiring. Daniel created a school resilience program in Israel where missile attacks, war, and natural disasters have become a fact of everyday life. This leaves children with anxiety, nightmares, fears, difficulties with school and sleeping, detachment, and social withdrawal.  With this level of trauma everywhere, how could you hope to create balance in a child’s life in that environment?

Think about all the simple things we do to create balance within our lives.  Taking time for yourself, exercising, eating right, balancing our work and family needs; as simple as it could be, it still doesn’t ensure that we do it, despite the fact that we know it works.

Not everybody in Israel has the opportunity to create this kind of balance due to the situation and environment in which they live. The country stays in a constant state of survival mode, where people are thankful for each breath they take. Breath is life.  On a brief aside, did you know that research shows a high correlation between high blood pressure and poor breathing?

Nothing is more basic than breathing. We have to do it, but we don’t understand the impact that breathing can have on our well being.  We don’t think about the physiological function that occurs, and the impact that breathing has on our heart beat.  Did you know if you slow your breathe down, you can change your heart rate?  If you change your heart rate you feel calmer.  Breath can be a powerful tool and an easy one to master.  Daniel Hamiel is teaching many people to breathe properly through a simple and readily available activity, blowing bubbles.

Bubbles, that is a flash back memory, two little boys running around blowing bubbles, fun times. We all have fond memories of blowing bubbles with our children, they cost next to nothing, and you can do it anywhere, anytime.  But I never thought about using bubbles to teach people how to breathe. Think about what happens when you slowly exhale into a ring doused with soapy solution, a big beautiful bubble emerges. You are controlling your exhalation, probably to a count of six, and you are breathing at an optimal rate.

Daniel, along with a staff of three, has been to going into the school systems and teaching these proper breathing techniques to the counselors. In turn, the counselors teach the teachers, and of course, the teachers teach the children.  The children teach the parents and their siblings.  How simple can that be?  Simple enough to work anywhere, anytime. Daniel is helping little by little to enact change and bring a small sliver of calm into a very turbulent part of the world.

We encourage you to learn more about your breathing patterns, visit www.drweil.com.  Or, place your hand on your abdomen and count as you inhale and as you exhale.  Try to get to a count of 6 to begin with, if you are full of air before you get to 6, then pause and exhale.  Aim for 6 seconds of breath in, and 6 seconds out, resulting in 5 total breaths a minute. This is the optimal amount of breath for relaxation.

Get a feel for how you breathe, and try to bring some calmness into your crazy day.

Why Can’t I Get Motivated?

I can’t tell you how many times I have been asked the question, “What part of the brain can we tap into for more motivation? Is there a spot that we can focus on?”

That is a hard question to answer, because motivation comes from within; within the mind, body, and spirit. Research shows that both motivation and attention are controlled by the prefrontal cortex, which can be thought of as the “executive center” of the brain.

The prefrontal cortex, which continues to mature into early adulthood, controls functions such as planning, decision making and the ability to delay gratification.

There is a whole chapter on ‘Attention and Motivation’ in The Dana Guide to Brain Health, a great resource for anyone looking for more information, that explains the prefrontal lobe are its role in formulating complex goals and intentions. The authors note that “this means that the human brain is capable of creating models of the world not only as it is, but as we want it to be. The human brain is able to create models of the future. This is called intentionality. But merely creating a model of the future is not enough. We must have the ability to strive to change the world as it is into the world we want it to become. This ability is called motivation. Without motivation, no life challenge of any degree of complexity can successfully be met.”

We use the frontal lobes to set our short and long term goals, as well as to prioritize and keep our attention from being distracted from our goals. There is more to motivation that just setting a goal, as everyone is not goal oriented. Different people get motivated in different ways. For some people, motivation must come through positive reinforcement, such as:

  • Killing them with kindness; showering them with support. A positive brain approach.
  • Treating them with trust and respect.
  • Creating challenges.  Getting them excited!
  • Incentives and rewards.
  • Inspiring them – make them believe in themselves.

Inspiration – stimulating our mind and emotions to a high level of feeling and activity. Many of us can be inspired by the words of great leaders. One that rings especially true for me comes from Gandhi, who said “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” We may get inspiration from a speech we hear, a story we read, or a simple act of kindness that we see during our daily lives. Poetry moves us in different ways. Music is a powerful vehicle for motivation; just ask anyone who feels the beat of their favorite song fueling them to run that extra lap, or work just a little bit harder the next time they exercise.

For me, motivation occurs on all levels, cognitively, emotionally and spiritually. I want to share this video with you that provided the inspiration for this blog. Just watch it. Texas County Reporter: Blind Quilter It will touch you in a way you didn’t expect.

Go explore your local library, the internet, or even ask your friends and family for sources of inspiration. Find something that rings true for you personally, and use that as your own personal call to arms, as your mantra to spur you forward towards healthy behaviors. However, if you still find yourself saying “none of that works for me, no matter how hard I try” and you feel out of control, you should stop blaming yourself and start wondering. Ask yourself, could there be a medical reason? Is your brain out of balance and not working the way it needs to? Are you depressed?  These are questions that require investigation. If you think you were born that way and can’t change it, you are wrong. You can. Seek the help of a neurologist or neuropsychologist who can provide you with the tools and treatment to help you heal yourself.

You can create positive change in your life!